Words of comfort

We wish you all a very Merry Christmas, Happy holiday break, and a Wonderful New Year!

The end of a year usually puts me in a weird nostalgic mood. I tend to look back, trying to assess my achievements and also look forward, trying to guess my future.

At pivotal moments like the end of the year, we usually look for hope for the future and understanding in the face of past failures. I am always looking for inspiration, and nothing motivates me more than powerful articulation, words and sayings that have the power to impart strength, courage and hope. The right words gives you wings, wrong words cut them and take away your will to act. Recently, I came across the book “Words of comfort”, which was another confirmation of how important it is what we say to others, but above all to ourselves. How important are the words unspoken but forming in the thoughts swirling in our heads. I recently had the opportunity to deal with a problem my 9-year-old niece was struggling with.  She was being bullied by a boy at school. To various kinds of advice from her mum and from me on how to set boundaries, she replied that she couldn't be straightforward/plainspoken because she was shy. She was afraid of standing up to him, but on the other hand she didn’t want to ignore him because in her mind, it is not nice to ignore people.

My sister and I decided to choose and suggest words to her to use that would help her to find comfort and at the same time to end this boy's unpleasant behaviour towards her. Taking on board something I’d read in this book, we agreed that not everything always happens for a reason. Sometimes, hard and terrible things happen for no reason at all! We don’t deserve such treatment. And what happened wasn’t our fault. Ok.  What we can do is work on what our response should be.

Even if you are shy and anxious about the others’ reaction, remember that you are capable of handling far more than you give yourself credit for. With my niece, first of all I tried to learn to sit with her discomfort and embrace her emotions. Then we practiced several variants of response to a so-called friend's unpleasant taunts. We found one that was in line with my niece's sensitivity and at the same time helped her to clearly set boundaries. Properly chosen words in difficult moments are like armour - shiny and beautiful, but at the same time invincible.

For the new year, I wish you all beautiful words, strong words, words that give you strength and inspiration. Look for them and embrace them, they will be your best friends.

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See you back in 2024

Gosia