Good Intentions and the art of truly listening

In Poland, we have this saying that hell is full of good intentions. Lately, I've been having some conversations and coaching sessions with students that got me thinking about it more deeply.

So, here's the question: When is an intention really good? And does it make a difference if our intention is focused on others or ourselves? I believe it does. When our intention is to help others, it feels more genuine and selfless. But when we're helping others just to stroke our own ego, are we really helping them at all?

When we're too focused on ourselves, we miss out on the chance to learn about others and how they see the world. If we approach a conversation with the mindset of "I'm always right," it leads nowhere because the other person will shut down and won't share anything with us.

Putting aside our assumptions and beliefs to actively listen without judgment is tough. It's tiring, honestly. It takes a lot of energy to really invest in a conversation and just listen without trying to jump in and solve everything or share our thinking. But I've found that after each coaching session, I feel tired yet fulfilled. By creating a safe space for people to be themselves, I learn so much—about them and about myself. It also helps me work on my empathy skills, which don't come naturally to me. I'm usually all about solving problems, but most of the time, that's not what people need. They need someone to listen and give them a safe space to share.

Reflecting on good intentions and active listening has taught me a lot. It's important to ask ourselves if our intentions are truly selfless or just a way to boost our ego. By focusing on others and actively listening without judgment, we open doors to learning and understanding. It may be challenging, but it's worth it. So next time we talk to others, let's set aside our assumptions, listen with an open mind, and create safe spaces where people feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and experiences. In the end, that's what really matters.

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